My sister recently called me, very bugged with a particular male acquaintance who told her that she made it where she was because she was a girl and a pretty one too. She was bugged because he made a such a lose comment undermining all the efforts she put in to be where she was. She was upset because he did not see the hard-work that she had put in, the sacrifices she had made and the battles she was fighting everyday to be where she was. All he saw was the fact that she was a pretty girl who was doing well for herself. This was not the first time she heard something like this, but the first time it was so blatantly said to her face.
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
I had to hear something similar when I got placed through campus and a college mate came up to me and said that my roommate and I, who had made it through the interview and got our job offers, only got it because the recruiters found us pretty. No guesses to figure out that this particular individual did not get placed. I was appalled at his in-sensitiveness then. I know so many girls who have been said this. I wonder if a man was ever told that he got where he was not because he was intelligent but because he was good looking.
Ofcourse, most men do not think like this. Not every guy thinks that if a girl is at a good position it is because she is pretty/ or is a girl. My husband, for example, has been very supportive of my career and both of us consult each other before taking any major work related decision. My dad brought both my sister and me up to be as efficient as men of our age. A lot of my male colleague have been very supportive and value my work.
But honestly, the one thing I have realised over my tenure as a working woman is that people (both men and some women too) will say a lot of things and you cannot stop them. You should know what you are really worthy of. And you should also take such statements with a pinch of salt. So when this classmate repeated this statement on another occasion, I just shrugged and said “..Well atleast I got something working for me – even if it was my looks.. sad that you don’t even have that”. And that was it. This was the exact advice I gave my sister and the exact advice I will give to every girl out there who still gets bothered by comments like this.
I am wearing:
Earrings & Kurta from FabIndia
Churidar from Westside
Footwear from Global Desi
Bag from Zara
Photo Credits: Abhishek Garg
PS: The inspiration behind the title of the post is X-Men Mutant & Proud!