I have been married for around (almost 3 years) now. Married to dear sweetheart AB. A lot of people ask me how did I meet him. How did we decide that we would want to get married? And how did we convince our parents for the marriage etc? While I have a fun illustration on my Love Story page, here is the full scoop. So here is Part 1 of how I met and got engaged to AB.
I had moved to Delhi in 2009. Prior to that, I was working in Bangalore in a software company as a regular software engineer. Haan Ji – I was in Bangalore before marriage too. But that is another story. So honestly I was hating my job. Reason being – I was never really a coder. I could not even code decently to save my life. But I was still trying to make my living – to make a career out of the coding world. And then one day I realized that this was never going to work out. And so I packed my bags and took a job in a research based firm in Gurgaon. The positive side to this move was that I could be with my family.
And that is where I met my dear dear hubby. He tells me that he liked me the day I came in to give my interview. I however, formally met him only after I joined. He worked in the adjacent bay. And in a couple of months after I joined, we were dating. Yes that soon! Well it just worked out. We were not two school/college kids who did not know what we wanted out of our lives. We were both aware that being involved at this stage of our lives meant serious commitment since both our parents were pestering us to get married. And while when we started off – we started dating casually we knew that we had to come to a decision soon as to whether we would like to get hitched to each other.
Coffee at work 🙂
So after a lot of cups of coffee at the local cafe we decided that we would want to get married. And so it was now important to introduce the respective families to our choice. So AB met my sister first – who liked him immediately. And then he met Mom who found him (to quote her) “very handsome and courteous”. Since my parents were in Gurgaon (my folks had shifted to Gurgaon during the time when we were dating), AB met Mom and my sister first. But then I wanted to meet his folks before AB met my Dad. It was important to know what they felt about me.
AB’s parents are from Jaipur. So he told his parents and his Mom came down to Gurgaon to meet me. I was nervous like hell. And I have never been nervous before – but this was the first time when the criterias’ for my evaluation (if my poor MIL did any) was completely different. Normal job interviews would evaluate me for my smartness, my knowledge, my forth coming attitude. And I knew how to ace that. But this was a different ball game. But my sweet sweet sweet MIL was more nervous than I was. I think even she was worried about being evaluated as a prospective MIL. And at the end of the meeting my MIL bought me a watch. And so I knew that she liked me too. Yayy!!
And then AB met my Dad. Dad was very particular about a couple of things – he was trying to be all strict and everything. But the moments AB met my Dad, they hit off really well. Both of them are ardent car lovers and so they started discussing all car-stuff. Then I met AB’s father, and we were all sorted out.
The families met. The first time they met in Gurgaon, when his folks came down to Gurgaon from Jaipur. And then we drove down to Jaipur to finalize the dates and other formalities. And so the dates of 17th October 2010 was decided for the engagement and 18th February 2011 for the wedding.
Before We Got Engaged
But this was a Jaipur meets Bihar wedding. This was a wedding that would take place between two families settled in different cities. This was a wedding where the customs of Kayasths and Baniyas would be at loggerheads. But the key to solving all such issue is to make both the sides sit and talk. And LISTEN. In my case, after some negotiations, it was decided that the wedding would happen from Delhi while the engagement would happen from Jaipur.
The days to our engagement came near and the time to go ring shopping began. AB wanted to buy me a ring with the money he had saved. And he was very particular that it had to be a solitaire. Between the two of us – his knew what he wanted. While I was not even sure what I really wanted. Seriously sometimes when I read the wedding blogs where brides are so focussed on their needs, I wonder what was wrong with me. I never really bought any bridal magazine or looked at any thing online. I just landed at Gold Souk one day and by the end of the day I had finalised the ring I liked for myself and what I liked for AB. We however, did not buy the ring rightaway. We wanted to show it to our folks and buy it with them. Keep them involved in this process. So ABs folks came down to Gurgaon once before the engagement, when they were to buy me a few sarees and jewellery and that is when we also showed both the families the rings we had selected and we bought them.
AB’s Ring. He wanted a band and I wanted a diamond on it and hence this
The day to the engagement came soon. And all my relatives flew down from different parts of the country and world. All of us drove down from Delhi while the rest met us at Jaipur. I had selected a off-white saree to be worn at the ceremony. I unfortunately had not done a lot of diligence on deciding the MUA which resulted in me looking like a shiny disco ball because of the shimmer that was used on my face. But I did like the saree drape that was done. I had got my make-up done at Lakme Jaipur. So if you are going to another city for any of your function make sure that you do the homework on the MUA. My cousin has a great list of recommended MUAs for almost all major cities in her blog thedelhibride.com. So hop on there if you want to get details on someplace in particular.
Engaged. Yes My face shines way too much! IGNORE
And so by the end of October 17th 2010, AB and I were engaged and about to get married in 4 months. We had crossed one big milestones in our lives and were about to enter another one in a few months. The feeling was surreal and it took time to sink in. The next few months before the wedding was spent shopping and working. But that story becomes a part of another post. So till then Hope you enjoyed reading my story. It was not a bed of roses but we also did not have to face any major opposition. It was simple. And I am glad!
Other Articles related to the Wedding Issue:
You can also view the entire series on the Monthly Mag page.